Tag: politics

Declaration in defense of Science and Secularism

We are deeply concerned about the ability of the United States to confront the many challenges it faces, both at home and abroad. Our concern has been compounded by the failure exhibited by far too many Americans, including influential decision-makers, to understand the nature of scientific inquiry and the integrity of empirical research. This disdain for science is aggravated by the excessive influence of religious doctrine on our public policies.

this one ought to be shouted from the rooftops

the Right Was Right

Now that the election is behind us, and the Democrats control both houses of Congress, there’s no reason not to admit it: the Right was right about us all along. Here is our manifesto for the new Congress:

  1. Mandatory homosexuality
  2. Drug-filled condoms in schools
  3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act
  4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses
  5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State
  6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein
  7. English language banned from all Federal buildings
  8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups
  9. All taxes to be tripled
  10. All fortunes over $250k to be confiscated
  11. On-demand welfare
  12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish
  13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems
  14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning
  15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8
  16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor
  17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery
  18. God to be mocked roundly
  19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN
  20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement
  21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy
  22. Texas returned to Mexico
  23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day
  24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore
  25. Modify USA’s motto to “Land of the French and the home of the brave”

the program for congress

Battlestar Galacticons

But alas, this love affair between Galactica and the right was not to last: in its 3rd season, the show has morphed into a stinging allegorical critique of America’s 3-year occupation of Iraq. The trouble started at the end of the second season, when humanity briefly escaped the Cylons and settled down on the tiny planet of New Caprica. The Cylons soon returned and quickly conquered the defenseless humans. But instead of slaughtering everyone, the Cylons decided to take a more enlightened path by “benevolently occupying” the planet and imposing their preferred way of life by gunpoint. The humans were predictably not enthused about their allegedly altruistic rulers, and they immediately launched an insurgency against them using improvised explosive devices and suicide bombers. Needless to say, this did not go over very well in the Galacticon camp.

lol. right-wingers tried to see themselves favorably in BSG, a plan which has backfired