Tag: nyc

NYC Reckoning

What’s strange in my experience — a New Yorker born and bred — is when storefronts, once emptied, aren’t quickly repopulated. Broadway in daylight now seems increasingly like an archaeological dig in the making. Those storefronts with their fading decals (“Zagat rated”) and their old signs look, for all the world, like teeth knocked out of a mouth. In a city in which a section of Broadway was once known as the Great White Way for its profligate use of electricity, and everything normally is aglow at any hour, these dead commercial spaces feel like so many tiny black holes. Get on the wrong set of streets — Broadway’s hardly the worst — and New York can easily seem like a creeping vision of Hell, not as fire but as darkness slowly snuffing out the blaze of life.

still way too much crap in nyc. i await the day when urbanization progresses to the point that nyc actually has a useful population density. beijing is still ahead by a factor of 5.

NYC by Robert Moses

I present my Google Maps version of the proposed Lower Manhattan Expressway and Mid Manhattan Expressways. (I didn’t know how to draw maps to look like Google Maps but it’s pretty easy.) Now there have been maps showing these proposed highways before (they are included in my Unbuilt Highways Map of NYC) but the point of doing it up to look like a Google Map was to put these highways in a modern context (also I’m sure there are plenty of people who didn’t even know about these). We have become so accustomed to viewing the world through Google Maps that I feel like these maps are starting to shape our view point of the city.

Wait, whaaaaaa?

L Train CBTC

Motormen working the Brooklyn-Manhattan line will remain on board as a token gesture to humanity’s fading relevance, and as way of placating Luddites worried about some sinister runaway HAL train making a break for New Jersey. The “Communications Based Train Control” [CBTC] will kick in tomorrow, (theoretically) enabling NYC Transit to relieve overcrowding by running trains closer together than the current signal system allows.

the first step to destroy the MTA unions. watch service improve overnight. the rest of the nyc subway still runs on a control system that is 100 years old.

Bike Lanes


Augmented reality again. Similar to that projected pedestrian crossing. The system projects a virtual bike lane (using lasers!) on the ground around the cyclists, providing drivers with a recognizable boundary they can easily avoid.
2013-05-11: this is the kind of stuff needing to be shoved down the throats of the many NIMBY assholes around town.

NYC DOT found that protected bikeways had a significant positive impact on local business strength. After the construction of a protected bicycle lane on 9th Avenue, local businesses saw a 49% increase in retail sales.

2016-09-21: I approve

shadowy activists, who seem to have a warehouse of orange cones, have been erecting protected lanes around San Francisco that last for brief periods before they (or someone else) remove them. The group joins others nationwide to push for safe roads with guerrilla actions, including organizations in New York, Boston, and Portland.

2023-03-11: NYPD right of way regulations

  1. Marked NYPD vehicles
  2. Unmarked NYPD vehicles
  3. Vehicles with a Thin Blue Line flag bumper sticker
  4. A dumpster with the Punisher logo on it
  5. Film crews for Blue Bloods
  6. Vehicles whose owner’s cousin used to work for the city (any city is fine)
  7. Amazon delivery trucks
  8. Pedestrians walking against traffic
  9. Any double-parked motorized vehicle
  10. Regular film crews

50. Cyclists

People who deserve it

There’s nothing worse than a cold shoulder to the face as you try to leave the train for work. It reminds you:

a) That you actually have to go to work
b) Work is in a cubicle
c) Most people in this world are so dumb, it’s sad

The thing is, we can look past not being able to locate Iraq on a map, or believing every word posted on Wikipedia is fact. What we can’t comprehend is how people think trying to get on a packed train first, before others have exited, is a good idea. It’s fucking mind-blowing.

We just don’t get it, we really don’t. It’s almost as if these humans aren’t human at all, but in fact brainless salmon people, desperately trying to swim upstream any chance they get.

If that’s the case, and we’re pretty sure it is, the best way to clear a path through these creepy fish folk is to cast a couple right hands and see who bites.