Tag: funny

Earnings Call Hoaxer

“This guy, Joe Gutterman, every conference call this quarter, he logs on as somebody’s name and asks these crazy efficiency questions. So going forward keep in mind you should just disconnect him when he dials in. This is like the 6th call in a row he’s done that. It’s really annoying.” Mr. Schmitz speculates that Mr. Herrick is “some minion” at a consulting firm trying to do clandestine research on companies’ use of 6 Sigma techniques.

Jihadi complaining

The Journal has obtained correspondence, purportedly between Abu Izzadeen and Facebook, which took place after his profile was banned by the site’s administrators. In it Izzadeen urges the administrators to “reconsider your hasty and unjust decision,” going on to write “Inshallah (God willing) I can return to making use of your otherwise fantastic site”. After the appeal was rejected Izzadeen ended the correspondence by writing: “You are mad. I joined this site so my supporters could add me and show their support. I am not surprised. [You take] any opportunity to stamp the ummah under your heel. This is why we rise up.”

FAIL. customer service indifference saves the day.

Superheroes in Real Life

Wendy Darst, the volunteer coordinator, looks taken aback but gladly puts the superhero to work. Soon the Jade Justice finds himself hip-deep in a supply closet, piling books into a red Radio Flyer wagon. He wheels it back to the lobby, entreating the children to select a text. But the kids seem more interested in peppering him with questions. “So are you a cowboy or something?”

Inspired by comic books, ordinary citizens are putting on masks to fight crime

Robbie Williams pavers

EMI has announced that “unsold copies” of Rudebox, by British pop star Robbie Williams, “will soon be used to resurface Chinese roads.” 1m copies of the CD “will be crushed and sent to the country to be recycled, where they “will be used in street lighting and road surfacing projects.”

best contribution of that talentless hack to society yet