Tag: funny

C++ lands

Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs

you’ll have to fire half your workers and finish the cars with non-union labor

Console Flow Chart

Every build you break

Story of my (work) life!

EVERY BUILD YOU BREAK
aka "Every Breath You Take" by The Police 
by the Apple OpenDoc team 
 
Every build you break
Every change you make
to the API
makes us want to cry
We'll be watching you
 
Every single file
Watch your coding style
Every build you break
there'll be chocolate cake
We'll be watching you
 
Oh can't you see
this is killing me
How my poor heart aches
with every build you break
 
Every file you check in
Mostly formatting
Every file you touch
that you tweak too much
We'll be watching you
 
When debugging we're lost without a trace 
Need the help of an error handling ace
No one's perfect, we all make our mistakes
but 60 files at a time - build's bound to break 
We keep crying Alfke, Alfke please!
 
Oh can't you see
this is killing me
How my poor heart aches
with every build you break
 
Every IDL
Every exp
Every xih
Every DRI
will be watching you
 
We'll be watching you (We'll be watching you) 
Every build you make 
Every build you break
We'll be watching you
bis 3
We'll be watching you (SLOW watch Geoff to end)

Over Logging

One day the citizens of South Park wake up and find the internet is gone. When Randy hears there may still be some internet out in California, he packs up his family and heads west.

Smalltalk Rejection

Dear Dr. Kay, The program committee thanks you for the submission of your paper “Object Orientation – A New Paradigm of Programming”. Unfortunately your paper has been rejected. To do proper Computer Science, you must evaluate new ideas incrementally. In the future, please avoid excessive novelty.

Fucking Hipsters

Here’s a still frame from our new movie, The Other Scissor Sister.

Stock Photo Lessons

Random-ass white dudes should be placed all over your corporate website for no fucking reason. Curly-haired black women are the preferred marketing tool to sell obscure telecom products and telephone services so as long as their skin tone isn’t too dark. She should be dark enough to score that hip diversity dollar, but not so dark as to scare away that heartland racist dollar.

Puns

People who point out their puns are like comedians who explain their jokes: they both think you’re too stupid to get it. The only good thing about the phrase “pun intended” is that it saves you time when you want to say “hello, I’m going to be at the bag convention this weekend, please be sure to stop by and say ‘hi.’ I’ll be at the douche exhibit.” Here’s the deal: when you point out your puns, you’re making a value judgement on me, the reader.

Econoland

Among the thrilling experiences Econoland will offer are: The currency high-roller: Float like a butterfly with the euro and drop like a stone with the pound! Chamber of horrors: Tremble at the wailing of distressed debt!