Tag: funny

Zuckerberg Blasphemy

Mark Zuckerberg is being investigated by Pakistani police under a section of the penal code that makes blasphemy against Muhammad punishable by death. Petitioner Muhammad Azhar Sidiqque is waiting for the police to contact Interpol about making arrangements for the arrest of Facebook’s owners and “Andy”. Pakistan’s United Nations representative has asked to escalate the issue in the UN General Assembly.

isn’t religion cute? such angst! such inadequacy! such insecurity!

Programming History

LOL

1801 – Joseph Marie Jacquard uses punch cards to instruct a loom to weave “hello, world” into a tapestry. Redditors of the time are not impressed due to the lack of tail call recursion, concurrency, or proper capitalization.

1940s – Various “computers” are “programmed” using direct wiring and switches. Engineers do this in order to avoid the tabs vs spaces debate.

1957 – John Backus and IBM create FORTRAN. There’s nothing funny about IBM or FORTRAN. It is a syntax error to write FORTRAN while not wearing a blue tie.

1986 – Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, announcing “this language has all the memory safety of C combined with all the blazing speed of Smalltalk.” Modern historians suspect the 2 were dyslexic.

Al-Qaida Scammed

How, exactly, do you run a nuclear scam? It was a lucrative line of business for criminal groups in the former Soviet Union. “Sometimes they’re criminal gangs that have information that some material had come out from the, let’s say, the area of the former Soviet Union or some stockpiles and they will try to provide that material to other groups to sell. A lot of it is scam, you know, red mercury, whatever else.”

Russian mobsters scamming al-qaida repeatedly. lololol