Tag: funny

Barbie Savior

Barbie Savior Jesus. Adventures. Africa. 2 worlds. 1 love. Babies. Beauty. Not qualified. Called. 20 years young. It’s not about me…but it kind of is. 👶🏿🌍❤️🙋🏼

Many of you have inquired as to where exactly in the great country of Africa I live. It has come to my attention that the country of Africa is actually made up of several countries! The time has come to disclose my location….I live in Nambia! #makeNambiagreatagain #orforthefirsttime #startedfromNambianowimhere #ifyourefromNambiawhyareyouwhite #yeaheveryoneinNambiacanreadSwedish #NambiaisrightnexttoWakanda #whereLupitalives #Lupitaismyneighbor #doesNambiahaveawall? #iblesstherainsdowninNambia #myheartbelongstoNambia #ourcreativepresident #whenyouforgettoreadthebookbeforebookclub #whenyoudontknowjustguess #Trumpwinshideandseek #hestheonlyonewhoknewwhereIwas #theyhavebiggerhandsinNambia #heretogetrich #alsoknownascolonization #Nambiaisthenewfourthworld #icanseeNambiafrommyhut #ittakesaNambianvillage #straightouttaNambia #orangeisthenewNambia”

Maybe Just Don’t Drink Coffee

Sure, just the other day, you bought some incredible single-origin nanolot coffee beans day, and that 200g bag cost as much as 2, maybe 3 avocado toasts. In fact, you bought enough to keep some at home and at work. It’s a legit varietal, like Gesha or Bourbon, from a remarkable local roaster who operates quasi-legally out of a sick loft and specializes in light—but not too light!—roasts, a respectful homage to modern Scandinavian coffee that lets you really get a sense of the bean’s terroir, down to the GPS coordinates where it was discovered during an expedition into coffee country led by a white man of great taste, and the barista said that the acidity from this coffee is “really wonderful and fruit-forward, like Hawaiian Punch micro-dosed with LSD.”

Auctioning Christie

he should be able to get at least $500 for christie.

In what some are calling a sign of its desperation to raise cash, the Presidential campaign of Donald J. Trump is auctioning off New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on the popular e-commerce site eBay, campaign officials have confirmed. Christie, who is described on the site as being in lightly used but good condition, is believed to be the first sitting governor ever to be auctioned on the Internet.

“Silicon Valley” Nails Silicon Valley

Teller ended the meeting by standing up in a huff, but his attempt at a dramatic exit was marred by the fact that he was wearing Rollerblades. He wobbled to the door in silence. “Then there was this awkward moment of him fumbling with his I.D. badge, trying to get the door to open. It felt like it lasted an hour. We were all trying not to laugh. Even while it was happening, I knew we were all thinking the same thing: Can we use this?” In the end, the joke was deemed “too hacky to use on the show.”