It turns out that people on Confederate Facebook are not very good at the internet. Our friend Lowen dialed Chris to investigate. He claimed to be a guy named Roger who’d heard Chris was a Northerner who’d joined the group to troll. Understandably, Chris was upset about this, and claimed to have never left the state of Texas. “Roger” told Chris he’d heard that he had the state flag of “Maine or New York” on his truck, that he worked at Dunkin’ Donuts, and that he’d voted for Obama “both times from a polling station in Brooklyn, New York.” Chris was very upset that people were spreading these vicious rumors about him, and told “Roger” that his “friends in high places” would slap the trolls with prison time for their actions.
Once I was in charge of the group I decided to take it in a new direction. The Confederate flag, I felt, had become a toxic brand. And all this South-rising-again business was a sure loser with swing voters. A top-down rebranding was in order. After rigorous focus-group testing, I decided to align the group with LGBT rights, Michelle Obama, Judaism, miscegenation, and the victorious Juche ideology. And that is how “confederate pride, heritage not hate” became “LGBT Southerners for Michelle Obama and Judaism.”
trolling for a good cause, the best kind of trolling.