hard to pick a favorite of the many devastating blows in this review.

What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did. I did read that. Ana is just a giant mess of a human being. She’s insecure to the point of it being laughable, “klutzy” (even though she only trips twice in the entire book, when it’s convenient for her to look awkward), and a complete ditz. She’s a virgin (of course) who’s never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. Right. I’m fairly certain there hasn’t been a woman this naive since ’round about 1954. At one point, she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian’s lusty advances. Fuckin’ really? She “flushes” constantly, and on several occasions referred to her hoo-hoo-naughty place as “down there.”
Next, we have Christian Grey: Christian is a misogynistic, self-loathing, abusive piece of shit. Apparently, his only redeeming qualities are, in this order; his ridiculous good looks, his money, and his giant penis. The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he’s being “lovable”, and those times are few and far between. Most of the time he’s serious, brooding, and threatening. How charming.

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